Criticism and Marriage: What to Do When the Serpent Bites

Are there communication troubles in your marriage? Do you struggle to accept criticism or other negative feelings from your wife with no getting into a defensive fit of frustration?


I think you agree with me when I say that men, as a complete, are not particularly excellent at taking criticism. Of course, no 1 honestly LIKES criticism, but I feel that guys deal with it particularly worse than females.


So, as you continue to read the rest of this write-up, I'd like to talk to you about the healthy way to accept criticism from your wife. This is a pivotal step in understanding how to communicate with your wife effectively, and I can virtually guarantee the your marriage will see improvements since of the helpful hints outlined below.


Generally, I play the procedure out into a easy four step program.


Step #1 - Do not Take It Personally


This really should certainly be called Step #, due to the fact this is the simple understanding you have to have to have before you can proficiently control your reaction to any unfavorable feelings coming from your wife.


I am not saying that your wife by no means has or never ever will make a individual attack on you, which is almost consistently out of line, but the majority of the time what you take as a individual attack is genuinely just your wife attempting to communicate something uncomfortable to you.


In some cases there's just no great way to say a thing that requirements to be mentioned. You have to have to comprehend that, and take her words accordingly. Often assume that she is NOT attempting to put you down or make a individual attack on you, but that she is creating a legitimate effort to increase your relationship.


Step #two - Be Empathetic With Your Wife


Actually, I could have switched these very first two steps about and been okay, but at this point it does not seriously matter. The important factor is that you have an understanding of how critically necessary it is for you to BE EMPATHETIC with your wife, not just when she's delivering negative news, but all the time.


There is no such factor as becoming also empathetic with your wife. It just does not exist.


Always attempt to think about oneself in her shoes in any given situation, and I can tell you ideal now that all of those "insurmountable marriage difficulties" will suddenly seem a lot easier to get by means of.


Step #3 - Take a Deep Breath


I know that a lot of what I am telling you is significantly simpler said than accomplished. When you are in the moment, so to speak, and you can really feel that frustration and anger welling up inside of you, it's really challenging to force oneself to (A) not take factors personally and (B) be empathetic with your wife.


I know that!


I am a guy also, keep in mind?


So I want you to make this your automatic reaction anytime you commence to feel your self obtaining angry, frustrated, upset or otherwise pessimistic...


Take a DEEP breath.


And if you nonetheless really feel frustrated?


Take yet another.


If you can force oneself to take a valuable handful of moments to calm down and diffuse the circumstance, conflict resolution will turn into a lot less complicated in your marriage.


Step #4 - Think just before You Speak


This is the final step to successfully navigate your way via the reception of any criticism or unfavorable feelings from your wife. If you have already produced it by means of actions 1, 2 and 3, then step four will need to be quite easy for you.


Both males and girls have a tendency to speak with out thinking, and it can have dire consequences in your marriage. You require to be incredibly cautious to constantly feel about what you're saying Just before you say it. It is impossible to take back a mean or hurtful comment as soon as it passes the threshold of your lips.


Even if your wife is being venomous to you, nonetheless feel just before you speak back and your conflict will resolve much quicker.


By following these four steps, you will acquire that resolving problems in your marriage is simpler and much less hurtful than it really is ever been just before.